# Хроникa иммиграции в Россию или Back to the future.

Michael Voronkov

Посвящается всем моим друзьям на ЗГ, всем кто хочет знать, но никогда не решались рискнуть ;-)

Yeap, Elvis has left the building. My apologies for the tone and the language but you see for the next couple of years I will be thinking in Russian, so I might get all that useless English out of my system now just as well. Besides, what's a better way to conceal my fear?

I'm typing this as an automatic monorail takes me to JFK on its mindless neverending journey. Как много их упало в эту бездну? Good question. Well, easy come easy go. Below the monorail roofs of NY suburbs peacefully float back and disappear . " N&D live poultry"... "Aaron's welding"... Really old Giuliani posters. Some of the fences have barb wire, buildings poorly fit to be squater's last resort. Without looking at the skyline it's hard to know that you are not in New Jersey. I guess this is the part of NY which is difficult to love. Geeze, they really made it easy on me.


-- Jane, they offered me a job in Moscow.

My poor lovely Jane, you still have this wonderful capacity of being surprised even after all years of our marriage. I didn't mean to surprise her. I guess this is the part of me which is impossible to love.

- Remember, we always were talking about going back to Russia? This is the best chance we going to get.

- You are certifiable, you know! - She frowns, my beautiful wife. I know at this point that my plan is in danger. I hurry to offer:

- They gave me an offer I could not refuse...

She will be emotional later, now she considers what was just said. "Please, please do not bring up the kid" If she does I'm dead in the water.

-- I hope that did not involve a gun? - The danger has not passed; Jane is simply fishing for more information.

-- No, Russians are over that stage, - I offered what should have been an affirmative smile. Now she knows that I'm scared too. She knows that I'm also thinking about the kid.

Her eyes studying my face - the jury has reached the verdict - she chooses her words carefully. She is merciful not to bring up the kid.

-- What about my job? Do you want me to drop it just like that?

This is why I love her - we are so similar and yet she is more kind and caring. Against her best interest she decided to let me be. Would she rather choose me sacrificing this job offer only to risk hearing about it for the rest of her life (with me, at least)? And who if not her knows about giving up a career for us when she decided to join me in the glorious US of A? In our code language she just gave me a simple answer in terms I could comprehend. O my dear true soul mate!

I smile.

Meanwhile Jane continues as not all the lines are drawn. She goes for the certainty:

-- There are many attractive women in Moscow. We are not going the way the Philpses went, are we?

-- What happened to Martin and Amanda was what happens when people marry their sex-mates and not soul-mates.

May be my point was lost in the gravity of the decision which has been just made.

We both feel uneasy that Amy's interests just stealthed through in this conversation. You see, two things have to be clear. The first one is that we are both crazy about our kid and have every intention to have another one. Why? So Amy would not grow up as an egotist. And the second, we - both Jane and I wonder what is wrong with all those people whose parents have never been separated or even divorced!


The rift among relatives on both continents went along the gender lines. Men silently approved my decision while women were highly skeptical. My male friends in Russia were exuberant while ex-girlfriends just shook their heads in disbelief. Then my first wife called Jane and offered her condolences starting with "I was saying all along that he's crazy!" Funny that before that they spoke only once when I introduced them to each other on a purely self-indulging male chauvinistic impulse and against my better judgment.


The day of departure I'm driving our six year old to school. God, it is so difficult to find the appropriate words in English or Russian. May be there is indeed no logical component to what am I doing.

-- Amy, you should always remember that I love you very much.

Amy is silently watching the road. I try again.

-- You see, since you really like this school you ought to keep on attending it, right?

I would have had better luck engaging a lamp pole in a conversation. Amy turned to the window, so I could not see her face. It is really hard.

- Sweetie, you know that I'm going to Moscow....

- Yes, Daddy. I think I just saw a squirrel.

At the school she gives me usual peck on the cheek and firmly takes hand of misses Kessler. In the car tears are blurring my vision.


They always teach you how to get a job or sell yourself for the top dollar. But never tell you anything about how you should properly resign, leave your team, betray confidence of your colleagues. Try it sometimes. If that is not difficult enough try to give them a silly reason like mine.

-- Yes, Dave, I'm going to Moscow.

-- But why?

Considering range of answers anything from "I have always wondered what would be my life in Russia be like if I had not left" to "I've been to the company for five years. It's time to move on." Initially I choose poorly.

-- I'll be still doing the same and they offered me a better managerial position.

- C'mon, it's the money. Is it not?

Dave is my boss. He needs a better answer then that.

-- Yes, Dave. It is the money. You know, Russians got all this oil money.

I think I can see a relief in his eyes. I might be mistaken. I could have told him how difficult it was to make a career for a foreigner in American company. For once I wanted to be smart and belong to the title nation in the same time. But rules are not to be broken. We part as the best friends - our professional pool is not that big. Neither I nor he ever knows whom we'll be asking for a job in the future.

Leaving the team is by far more difficult. We've been in trenches together from the start. They are cheering for me, especially those of foreign descent. I hope that they do not consider me a traitor.

My dear friend from Germany, who first introduced himself to me with the words "My grandfather was killed near Leningrad", (I do not care as last summer my gradfather passed away and the WW2 has finally ended.) decided that he is leaving too.


Damocles' sword of choice


Like merciless sundial


Dissects uncertainty


On it's journey to dusk.


Do you want whatever I've been smoking?

There was a company farewell lunch with beer, a vice-president's speech, politically correct "alaverdy" from our corner. To everybody's laughter they've given me a thermos and an electric blanket.

-- Yes, it will be very cold in Moscow.

The official part is over they are savoring pizza and beer. I feel like being on my own funeral. With the following exception: after a beer or two a girl who I find attractive but who also shares my preference for women bring her lips to my ear and let me on a secret.

-- My girlfriend really likes you...

I looked at her. With the body mass of barely 130 pounds she'd better be more careful with alcoholic beverages. On the separate thought why I am never popular with straight women?


Now with our Boing 747 started rolling on a tarmac they are telling passengers to turn off all laptops and other electronic devices. I know, my dear reader, you are with me on this tarmac. You want me to make this trip. So keep watching over my shoulder and I'll try not to disappoint you.