Korean Immigrant Women'S Challenge

KOREAN IMMIGRANT

WOMEN'S CHALLENGE TO

GENDER INEQUALITY AT HOME

The Interplay of Economic

Resources, Gender, and Family

IN-SOOKLIM

Korea University, Seoul, Korea

Based on in-depth interviews with 18 Korean immigrant working couples, this study explores Korean immigrant working wives' ongoing challenge to male dominance at home and to the unequal division of family work. A main factor in wives' being less obedient to their husbands is their psychological resources such as pride, competence, and honor, which they gain from awareness of their contribution to the family economy. Under immigrant family circumstances in which working for family survival is prioritized, wives feel that their negligence of family work, rejection of the superwoman ideal, and perceived right to demand their husbands' help with family work is legitimized. However, Confucian patriarchal beliefs lead these wives to place limits on the degree of challenge. The findings highlight the interplay of wives' psychological resources, gender norms, and the social standing of being immigrant families in affecting wives' challenge to gender inequality at home. Differences in effects among Korean immigrant families are explored.

к revious research has found that Korean immigrant husbands rarely participate in family work and are dominant over their wives; they demonstrate that Korean immigrant families are not gender egalitarian. However, one study reveals that Korean immigrants point to male dominance and men's nonparticipation in family work as Korean cultural traits that they need to modify (Hurh and Kim 1984); it suggests that Korean immigrant wives are aware of gender inequality at home and may attempt to challenge it.

This study aims to explore the stability and changes in gender inequality among Korean immigrant working couples by examining wives' challenges to their husbands' dominance and the unequal division of family work. Ideologies and structures of patriarchy are still powerful enough to hinder possible changes in the

AUTHOR'S NOTE: / would like to thank Christine L. Williams, Norval D. Glenn, Pierrette Hondag-neu-Sotelo, and the anonymous reviewers for their helpful comments on earlier drafts of this article.

REPRINT REQUESTS: In-SookLim, Gangnam-gu Apgujung-dong Hyundae, Apt. 10-803, Seoul, Korea.

GENDER & SOCIETY, Vol. 11 No. 1, February 1997 31-51 No 1997 Sociologists for Women in Society

32 GENDER & SOCIETY /February 1997

status quo of gender hierarchy, and women may not have yet succeeded in bringing about gender equality at home. Nevertheless, some changes may have occurred. Accordingly, this study analyzes the nature of Korean immigrant working wives' desire for change, their attempts to change marital relations, their tendency to resign themselves to their status quo, and husbands' responses to their wives' challenges.

A broader purpose of this study is to explore the interplay of Korean immigrant wives' economic resources, patriarchal cultural traditions, and immigrant family circumstances in facilitating or hindering wives' challenges. Resource theory suggests that working women attain the ability to challenge gender inequality at home through their participation in the paid labor force. However, gender theories suggest that the increase in women's economic resources does not necessarily guarantee more power for them because patriarchal gender norms and beliefs constrain women from maximizing their power and options. Furthermore, research on racial-ethnic minority or immigrant families suggests that despite the universal presence of patriarchy, men exercise varying degrees of power and women resist in diverse ways (Baca Zinn et al. 1986; Collins 1990; Hondagneu-Sotelo 1992).

This study examines the changes as well as stability in gender inequality among Korean immigrant families by exploring the following issues: how Korean immigrant working wives experience the shift in their relative economic resources in the United States; how wives' employment affects their desire to challenge male dominance and the unequal division of family work; how Korean immigrants' strong attachment to patriarchal tradition constrains women from challenging gender inequality at home; and how being immigrant families affects wives' challenge and resignation to the status quo.

In-depth interviews with 18 Korean immigrant working couples in the United States were conducted for the analysis. The data collected from both spouses in this study reveal gender dynamics more vividly than the data in previous research that focused on one spouse only. Interviews of both Korean immigrant husbands and wives also show their differential perceptions of the same marriage. This study, which integrates Korean immigrants' unique cultural traditions such as Confucian ideologies with their social standing as immigrants, also highlights the importance of contextual understanding of gender.

BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY

Korean Immigrant Family

Korean immigrants are characterized by strong ethnic attachment to the native culture, which is typically attributed to racial-ethnic segregation in the United States (Hurh and Kim 1984; Min 1995). High levels of affiliation with ethnic churches (around 67 percent in a 1986 survey in Los Angeles), which play the role of a "pseudo-extended family" for Korean immigrants, are one example of Korean immigrants'

Lira / KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 33

efforts to preserve their ethnicity (Kim 1981, 199). While Ferree (1979) claimed that assimilation to Western culture, which entails more egalitarian values, creates some variation in the patterns of division of labor among immigrant families, Korean immigrants' strong attachment to the high level of patriarchal tradition may constrain women from challenging gender inequality at home.

Gender inequality in Korea was intensified during the Chosun Dynasty (1392-1910), which adopted Confucianism as a ruling ideology of the era. Confucian patriarchy was characterized by the Rule of Three Obedience, which emphasized women's subordination to men: A woman should obey her father before her marriage, her husband after marriage, and her son(s) after her husband's death (Cho 1988). Therefore, women's assertiveness and disobedience were discouraged. A wife could be divorced if she was talkative or rebellious toward her parents-in-law, which included talking back to them. Since the principle of Distinction between Man and Woman was emphasized, even children over six years old were not expected to mix with the other gender. The principle of Distinction between Wife and Husband also demanded separate living and work spheres and accented the gendered power difference. Under these circumstances, a man ran the risk of losing face by participating in family work since the female work was regarded as degrading to men's prestige and dignity. These notions and principles were more strongly emphasized and more frequently practiced among the ruling class of the time.

Despite contemporary increases in women's employment and some men's participation in family work, the traditional notions are still pervasive in Korea. A comparative study reports that 71 percent of Korean married women agree with the statement "The husband should be the breadwinner, while the wife stays at home;" 34 percent of American women, 14 percent of Swedish women, and 71 percent of Japanese women agree (Korean Survey [Gallup] Polls Ltd. 1987). Therefore, Korean women still face strong resistance from men to participate in family work. While Korean working women spend four and a half hours per day on family work, men participate only 38 minutes. Consequently, Korean women work at both family work and paid work two months a year more than men, while American women work one month a year more than American men (Hochschild 1989).

In addition, unique social characteristics of Korean immigrant families may operate as factors hindering gender equality at home. The majority of Korean immigrants are engaged in small family businesses, which are run by a wife and husband without employees. Forty-five percent of Korean workers in Los Angeles, 61 percent of married males, and 49 percent of married females in New York City were in family businesses in the 1980s (Min 1991). Research on Chinese Americans in family business (Glenn 1983) found that collectivity is emphasized over the individual and a high premium is placed on cooperation rather than self-expression, which may precipitate conflicts. Furthermore, Korean immigrant women in family businesses may not accumulate their own individual resources because they are unpaid workers regardless of their significant contribution to the family income. Considering that female control over income is a more important determinant of

34 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

marital power than their employment or earnings (Blumberg 1991; Hertz 1986), Korean immigrant women in family businesses may be disadvantaged from the beginning in bargaining with their husbands.

Women's Economic Resources, Gender, and Family

Previous theory and research findings suggest the interplay of working wives' economic resources, gender norms, and family circumstances in wives' challenging gender inequality at home. According to resource theory, the relative resources of the spouse, such as education, income, or occupational status, are more viable determinants of marital power relations than the normative factor--that is, the husband's authority--in contemporary marriage (Blood and Wolfe 1960). The resources possessed by each spouse provide "leverage" in bargaining and negotiation between spouse, and affect marital power. A study by Blumstein and Schwartz (1983) revealed that the amount of money a spouse earns establishes relative power in any kind of relationship, except among lesbians.

As for the gender division of family work, resource theorists maintain that those members with greater resources can compel those with fewer resources to undertake the onerous work of the household (Berk 1985). Husbands' participation in family work is highest when spouses' incomes are similar (Haas 1987; Hood 1983; Scanzoni 1979). According to Ferree (1987), when women make a relatively substantial financial contribution to the family, this leads them to define their husbands' share of housework as too low and to articulate a desire for change. If this is the case, racial-ethnic minority or immigrant women may have a greater potential to challenge gender inequality at home. In these families, which experience racial discrimination and oppression in the job market, wives' earnings are more essential to their families, and the gap between a wife's earnings and husband's earnings is smaller than in dominant groups (Baca Zinn 1990; Glenn 1987). Therefore, these women have an advantage in the relative economic resources of spouses, which may allow them a greater potential for bargaining to cope with male dominance in the family than other women.

However, the causal relationship between relative resources and bargaining power may be overly simplistic. Resource theory does not explain why some women are careful not to exploit their greater potential power to the fullest, despite their increased economic resources, consequently resulting in no significant change in gender relations (Hood 1983; Wallace and Wolf 1991).

Introducing the notion of patriarchy, gender theories explain how normative expectations in marriage operate as a form of subtle coercion that undermines the relationship between women's resources and their power in marriage (Komter 1989). In a society in which breadwinning is a social representation of manhood, wives whose husbands are not good providers often submit to their husbands' dominance because they feel guilty for contributing to their husbands' sense of failure. Hochschild (1989) found that wives whose husbands are underemployed, less ambitious, or earned less than their wives do not press their husbands to do

Lim/KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 35

more housework to establish a "balance." Rather, they attempt to soothe their husbands' threatened male ego, and they bolster their husbands' sense of self-worth. In these marriages, women's earnings are not considered a resource but a burden for the husband, and thus it does not influence marital power (Руке 1994). Furthermore, as long as either the husband or the wife endorses the notion of "male-breadwinning and manhood," the husband is more powerful, regardless of his income (Blumstein and Schwartz 1983). Findings suggest that women still negotiate and adapt to the set of patriarchal rules that guide and constrain gender relations (Kandiyoti 1988).

Some women's challenge to gender inequality at home also may be constrained by their family circumstances. For example, among immigrant families who face a precarious economic environment, wives' employment is not a means for achieving independence from their husbands. Rather, it is an obligation for family survival and sacrifice necessary for the collective interests of the family (Ferree 1979; Glenn 1987; Kibria 1990). The members of immigrant families may perceive their families as a source of support in resisting oppression from outside institutions rather than a locus of gender conflict; any conflicts among family members may therefore be muted. For example, in a study of Vietnamese immigrants, Kibria (1990) found that the patriarchal family system is too valuable to give up because it adds income earners and extends resources. Furthermore, Vietnamese immigrant women find a fundamental appeal in the traditional patriarchal bargain--the authority to wield influence over the lives of the young.

These theories and research evidence led me to two research questions in this study. Firstly, I explore the changes as well as stability in gender inequality among Korean immigrant working couples by examining the challenge by wives to their husbands' dominance and unequal division of family work as well as their resignation to the status quo. Secondly, I explore how Korean immigrant working wives' economic resources, traditional gender norms, and the social standing of being immigrant families operate in these wives' challenges to gender inequality at home.

METHODOLOGY

Selecting the Sample and Characteristics of the Sample

In-depth interviews were conducted with 18 Korean immigrant working couples between December 1993 and August 1994 in Austin and Dallas, Texas. I contacted possible respondents using snowball sampling techniques and by random visits to Korean ethnic stores. Fifteen couples were obtained through the first method, while 3 couples were included through the second. In choosing couples to interview, several factors were considered that might be related to motivations, meanings, feelings, and justifications for wives' employment and husbands' family work: age, education, occupation, family income, years of marriage, years in the United States, the number and age of children, and helper(s) at home.

36 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

The four professional couples in this study have higher class characteristics in terms of family annual income, occupational prestige, and education levels than the three nonprofessional wage-earner couples and the family business couples. Among the latter were seven couples in which the wife and husband work full-time in the business and four couples in which the spouse works in his/her own business with part-time help of the other spouse who has a separate wage-earning job. Husbands of professional couples have a master's degree or higher and work in occupations such as engineer and publisher of a Korean ethnic newspaper. Wives of professional couples tend to graduate from a university and work as engineers, technicians, or nurses. Their family annual income ranges from $60,000 to $130,000. Family business couples work in a shoe-repair shop, restaurants, laundries, a flea market, a video rental shop, a wig shop, or a used appliance shop. Nonprofessional wage-earner couples work as building cleaners, technicians, or clerks. The family business couples and nonprofessional wage-earner couples tend to be high school graduates. Their family annual income ranges from $30,000 to $70,000. Wives and husbands range in age from 30 to 60 years.

There are recognizable distinctions in breadwinner role expectations between professional couples and the other couples. Professional couples still hold the traditional belief that breadwinning for their families is a husband's responsibility, while the nonprofessional couples emphasize that in the immigrant families, both a wife and a husband should share the breadwinning responsibility for their families. Wives of the former couples are secondary breadwinners, while wives of the latter couples play the role of equal breadwinners in their everyday lives. However, these distinctions are not salient in their attitudes toward and practices of homemaking among them. Both groups believe in the traditional notion that family work is generally a wife's responsibility and show no significant changes in men's participation in family work on a behavioral level. Even husbands whose wives equally contribute to the family economy do not necessarily share family work more than other husbands whose wives are secondary breadwinners.

Interviewing Procedures and Analysis

Interview schedules consisted of four parts. First, I asked interviewees a series of background questions about their family, jobs, marriage, and immigration. Second, I ascertained the practical experiences associated with breadwinning and homemaking in interviewees' families by asking who financially supported their families and who did what kinds of family work and to what extent. The third part focused on two themes: the meanings and feelings of wives working outside the home and husbands participating in family work, and the perceptions and feelings of changes in their marital relations. The interviews were conducted in a semistruc-tured format, based on a series of open-ended questions. Finally, general attitudes toward the responsibility of the breadwinner/homemaker role were examined.

One may wonder whether my being a woman affected the levels of comfort of male interviewees, consequently affecting rapport building and the quality of this

Lim / KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 37

research. I do not believe that it did. Husbands were candid enough to reveal their fears of and complaints against wives' changes, their sense of relative deprivation of wives' services and caring, and their beliefs in traditional marital hierarchy. This exposure of these thoughts and feelings are a good indication of the successful rapport established between myself and male interviewees. As for female interviewees, I believe the interviews were good for these wives in that they offered women new meanings and perspectives on taken-for-granted aspects of their marriage. During the interviews, many wives became aware and surprised at their husbands' nonparticipation and insensitivity when they responded to my questions of what kinds of family work their husbands perform. Many of them then expressed their feelings of anger, frustration, and resignation with marital relations.

Interviews were conducted at respondents' workplaces, houses, or the offices of several Korean ethnic churches. Husbands and wives were interviewed separately. All interviews were conducted in Korean because the majority of interviewees were first-generation immigrants and felt more comfortable speaking in Korean than in English. With permission from the interviewees, I taped each interview of approximately 90 minutes. Because of exposure of their private lives, I guaranteed my respondents anonymity and confidentiality, promising them to use pseudonyms in my study to protect their identity. I also assured interviewees that I would not discuss any of what they told me with their spouses. With an awareness of the inherent power imbalance between researchers and participants, I told my interviewees that they need not discuss topics that made them feel anxious or under stress (Gilgun, Daly, and Handel 1992). I reciprocated interviewees' time with a gift (an alarm clock to each couple valued at $15.00).

All interviews were transcribed from the audiotape in Korean. Then, I read and coded the interview transcripts carefully to catch major themes as well as unique aspects of interview content. To avoid misrepresentation of interviewees' responses, three follow-up calls were made when I needed clarification on what a respondent stated.

FINDINGS

Wives' New Self-Expression and Marital Conflicts

Korean immigrant husbands in this study expressed consistent fears of wives' challenge to male dominance at home. Three factors contribute to the husbands' fears. One is the stereotypical image of America to Koreans. America has been portrayed as a Western society in which women enjoy equal rights and freedom. Therefore, Korean immigrant husbands have speculated that an exposure to Western culture will lead their wives to desire more power at home. Secondly, husbands whose wives change from a full-time homemaker to a working wife (nine wives in this study) have been afraid that their wives may bargain for new marital relations based on their newly derived earning power. Thirdly, newly immigrant husbands

38 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

have often been warned by other Korean immigrant husbands, "Watch out for your wife. She may change a lot in the U.S. enough to think little of you." Therefore, they have been afraid that their wives will not be the same as they used to be in Korea. Those husbands who have not yet found any change in their wives feel fortunate, while they do not hide their hostility against other wives who they feel use their moneymaking as an excuse to look down on their husbands. Those husbands who have already experienced their wives' changes express their displeasure. Choe, who is in his fifties and works with his wife in a shoe-repair and alteration shop, finds she is no longer the obedient wife she was in Korea. He is displeased with his wife's new "self-assertion":

After she started working her voice got louder than in the past. Now, she says whatever she wants to say to me. She shows a lot of self-assertion. She didn't do that in Korea. Right after I came to the U.S., I heard that Korean wives change a lot in America. Now, I clearly understand what it means. However, it's wrong for women to think that they can control men in their own ways.

Choe's wife is in her forties and was a full-time housewife in Korea. She admits that since she has begun working in the United States, her "self-expression" has increased. Her comments imply that, with a growing sense of not being totally dependent on her husband for money, she no longer assumes a position of submission toward her husband. When she felt dependent on her husband as a full-time housewife, she obeyed her husband voluntarily. However, as she identifies herself as a working wife who contributes to her family as much as her husband, she has a different view of her marital relationship. She describes her changes:

In Korea, wives tend to obey their husbands because husbands have financial power and provide for their families. However, in the U.S., wives also work to make money as their husbands do, so women are apt to speak out at least one time on what they previously restrained from saying.

The above statements by the Choe couple indicate that there is a gender difference in perception about the extent of wives' change. Choe feels that she does not speak out yet about all the things that she wants to say to her husband, while her husband perceives his wife's change as so evident that she says "whatever she wants to say." Yang, who is in his forties and runs an appliance repair shop, also claims that his wife is no longer naive in that she does not completely follow his orders as she did when she was a full-time housewife. He feels his decision-making power has become less secure since his wife began earning money. As she has worked hard to make a living, Yang's wife admits, she has become more aggressive and stronger than she was as a full-time housewife. She has a part-time job as an operator and helps in his repair shop. However, she claims that there is no great change in marital power since she still permits her husband to make final decisions in family matters. These findings suggest that even a little change in the marital power relation may not be perceived as trivial to husbands.

In addition to increasing self-expression, wives feel all right about spending money without their husbands' permission. This change is evident when Chung,

Lim / KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 39

who is in her thirties and runs a Japanese restaurant with her husband, says, "I feel differently spending money when I earn it. I have come to think I deserve to spend the money when I pick up something for my family. I feel honorable even when I send a gift to my own parents." Although wives feel that they can spend money in their own ways, they tend to buy things for children or family members rather than for themselves. With tight family budgets and the pooled family accounting system, wives say, there is little discrete money that husbands as well as wives control for their own interests. In the case of family business couples, husbands often manage general spending related to the business. However, the control of money flow in their business is perceived not as a right of husbands but as a mental labor that demands a struggle with stringent budgets.

As Korean immigrant wives increasingly express their opinions, speak out against their husbands, or spend money without husbands' permission, marital conflicts increase. This is more evident among family business couples. Yu, a thirty-year-old who works with her husband in a laundry shop, says, "After we began working together in this business, we came to quarrel about even trivial things almost every day. I don't think it is desirable for both husband and wife to work together." Chung's husband understands the meaning of an old saying, "Don't be a business partner with a close person," through his experiences of working together with his wife.

Frequent conflicts among family business couples are related to both wives' newly acquired psychological resources and working conditions. Wives in family business are more likely to be defined as equal breadwinners by themselves and their husbands than their counterparts. As these wives are aware that they contribute to their family economy as much as their husbands, wives gain a sense of being honorable, fair, worthy, and proud, all of which allow them to express themselves actively. Since these immigrant families set a priority on income-generating work for family survival and value those who are involved in the work, wives feel competent as equal breadwinners. Bonacich, Hossain, and Park (1987) pointed out an ambiguity in the wife's position as co-operator of a family business--namely, she is both a co-owner and her husband's employee without even the benefit of a paycheck. They recognized that for many immigrant women, the latter role predominates and that their husbands could be exploiters of their wives' labor. However, wives of family business couples in this study think of themselves as co-owners of their business rather than unpaid employees of their husbands. Husbands also fully admit their wives' efforts to shoulder half of the burden of providing for their families by saying, "My wife also works as much as I do. Half and half, we contribute to the family economy."

The physically demanding work of family business couples also causes marital conflict to increase. As family business couples define their everyday lives as "nothing except eating, sleeping, and working," they feel so tired or stressed that they get easily angry at others. Also, the working condition, in which a wife and husband do similar work side by side in a small place, often leads them to meddle with each other. For example, a husband may question why his wife asks less money

40 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

from her customers than he thinks she should or why she is not more efficient. However, these couples also mention merits of the working condition that allow the couples to share advice or consolation when they face difficulties with their business. In short, being coworkers offers the couples a sense of psychological interdependence as well as a source of conflict.

Wives' new self-expression and consequent marital conflicts suggest that Korean immigrant wives attempt to make a change in their husbands' dominance at home. However, it is important to recognize that Korean immigrant wives limit their attempts to change unequal marital relations. Although they try to check their husbands' monopoly at home, they do not intend to subvert the traditional sense of marital hierarchy itself. They believe that the authority of men as family heads should remain unchallenged for the family order. The distinction between attemp-table change and avoided change is clear in the case of Yang. She reports her change from being a typical Korean wife who obeyed her husband "one hundred percent" into being a bold and competent woman after she had a job. However, she is still willing to defer to her husband's authority. When asked why, she replies:

I don't think it is desirable for a woman to henpeck her husband even though she works outside the home. I want men to lead everything in his family. I think the authority of a family head needs to be secure at home.

The gap between a wife and husband in job prestige and earnings cannot explain her deference to her husband. Rather, her belief in the authority of the husband as a family head justifies the power difference in her marriage, consequently restraining her from challenging the overall system of male domination. Shin, who no longer perceives herself as a submissive wife, explicitly said, "I work just because I should. With my moneymaking, I do not covet a better position at home." In fact, among the majority of family business couples, wives' employment is regarded as a responsibility for the family, which they perceive as a "system of coexistence." For Korean immigrant families in this study, family survival often means not only securing food to eat, shelter, and clothes to wear, but also providing their children with the best education possible. Many immigrant wives cannot pass the buck to their husbands when they feel breadwinning is a joint responsibility of parents for their children. The notion of marital equality is never expressed directly by these wives.

Wives' Attempts to Change Husbands' Family Work

The majority of interviewees (30 out of 36) still believe that wives are responsible for family work in principle. However, the old belief that family work is unmanly and degrading to men's prestige is no longer dominant among them. Proudly reporting their attitudinal change toward family work in the United States, a husband states, "Nobody thinks that it is shameful for a husband to enter the kitchen because we live in the U.S. where wives as well as husbands have jobs." All but one wife depart from the traditional notion that family work should be done

Lim/KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 41

exclusively by themselves. While wives no longer take their husbands' insensitivity and nonparticipation in family work for granted, they perceive a right to demand that their husbands participate in family work.

The attitudinal change among Korean immigrant wives is linked to their awareness of their contribution to the family economy. As wives recognize that they share the traditional male activity, breadwinning, with their husbands, they think there should be a transformation in their husbands' family work. Emphasizing the differences in breadwinning experiences between working wives and full-time housewives, these wives tend to say, "In the case of wives as full-time housewives, family work is totally wives' work. But in the case of wives with jobs, husbands need to help their wives with family work."

The wives' reasoning does not necessarily imply that wives think their husbands should help them with family work to compensate for their inability to be sole breadwinners. Husbands also do not think that wives can demand their husbands to do family work with wives' moneymaking as an excuse. Husbands' family work is mainly framed in terms of family cooperation or an adjustment to their employment. Family cooperation is understood to be the basis of survival and security for immigrant families, who begin rootless lives in a new land and face a precarious economic situation. Therefore, as wives work outside the home to reduce their husbands' burden of breadwinning, their husbands are expected to respond to wives' time shortage and fatigue.

Since husbands' outright resistance to sharing family work is no longer taken for granted as it used to be in Korea, resistant husbands are now perceived as selfish men who try to avoid another burden while wives bear two burdens: family work and a job. Under these circumstances, wives feel they work twice as hard as their husbands when they find their husbands' reluctance to share family work regardless of their employment. A sense of unfairness develops when they feel their lives relatively more burdened than their husbands.

With a sense of injustice, wives attempt to change the unequal division of family work by demand or appeal to their husbands. Kim demanded that her husband help her with the family work. Kim, who is in her forties, financially supported her family by herself for five years when her family came to the United States for her husband's study for a Ph.D. degree. She had a hard time managing both family work and job because her husband rarely participated in family work. She passionately describes how she claimed her husband's help:

I had always told him, "Isn't it ethical and humanistic for you to help me with family work when I feel tired? I can't manage it. Of course, I know that women are responsible for it. But I have to leave home to make money. I am doing the things men are responsible for. However, when I return from work to see family work left undone, as it was when I left home, I have to work twice as hard as you do."

Contrary to Kim, however, other wives do not actively defend the right to demand that their husbands participate in family work. When they try to introduce husbands to family work, they often use the "politics of appeal." They politely ask

42 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

their husbands to help out by claiming their fatigue or time shortage due to their employment: "I am so tired. Will you please do the vacuuming?"; "Would you help me by taking out the garbage?" The politics of appeal, whereby women use stereotypical feminine traits, such as weakness and cautiousness, instead of asser-tiveness, is a strategy to change the unequal division of family work.

Wives' awareness that hurting men's self-respect or authority is ineffective to their interests factors into the politics of appeal. Wives are aware that when they demand that their husbands do something, their husbands may feel ordered about by a female, consequently damaging their pride. Husbands also admit that they tend to refuse their wives' requests for family work when they feel that their wives treat them without respect. Because doing family work traditionally means that women are "doing their gender" (Berk 1985), husbands try to show their wives the fundamental difference between men and women by rejecting family work. For example, Yu withdraws his participation in family work, saying, "No, how dare you think that men and women are the same!" to reclaim his authority as a man when he feels his wife hurt it. Through experiences, wives have known that their husbands respond more to their appeals than to demands.

Furthermore, wives are aware that their demands may lead husbands to think that they lord their earning power over them. In Korea, the traditional notion that "only a stupid man makes his wife leave home to make money" is still pervasive, despite the increasing rate of women's employment. However, most men I interviewed did not reveal much feeling of shame at being dependent on their wives' earnings, since they regard the situation not as a consequence of personal failure but as an unavoidable reality that any immigrant family must face. Nonetheless, wives sense that their husbands' self-respect is not quite secure when the men are no longer sole breadwinners. Therefore, they try not to get on their husbands' nerves.

Wives also think it more wise for a wife to take care of most of the family work, at least in the presence of others, than to push her husband into the kitchen. As an old Korean saying goes, "If women or hens of a family run wild and speak with an air, the family will be ruined." There are ample warnings against female dominance and assertiveness among Korean immigrants, and because wives are aware of the social stigma attached to being dominant wives, they are careful not to give others the impression that they control their husbands. They also do not want their husbands to lose face; the women do not want to be ridiculed for emasculating their husbands publicly.

Women's Resignation to Unequal Division of Family Work

While all but one wife perceive that they have a right to demand their husbands' participation in family work, they do not necessarily try to defend this right in their everyday lives. Rather, these Korean immigrant wives expressed resignation to the unequal division of family work. Patriarchal gender ideas and immigrant family circumstances hinder women's attempts to challenge gender inequality at home.

Lim / KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 43

The Belief in Women's Endurance and Sacrifice

Some wives' resignation to unequal division of family work is due to their deep-seated belief that women should endure any marital relations no matter how unfair they perceive them to be. Although they recognize the current unequal division of labor at home as unfair, they frame it as their "destiny" that they must embrace because they are women. Whenever they get irritated with their constant feelings of being rushed and fatigued with both a job and family work, they feel their lives more burdened than their husbands'. However, they say, "There is no other way. This is the life given to me." These wives tend to have been married for more than 20 years and are in their late forties or older.

When these wives recognize that younger husbands help their wives with family work, they express envy. However, the older women feel they cannot change the status quo. Rather, they regard their husbands' resistance against sharing family work as understandable. Their reasoning is that Korean men of their generation are not used to doing family work since they have been taught that family work is fundamentally a female obligation. Therefore, they think that it is not easy for husbands to change themselves all of a sudden.

The patriarchal belief in women's sacrifice for their families also contributes to wives' resignation. Those wives who experienced marital conflicts over the division of family work or other matters now want to avoid further conflict by resigning themselves to the status quo. For example, Lee's husband, who made less money than Lee for several years in the early stages of their immigration, constantly initiated quarrels and made Lee's life in the United States unbearable. Therefore, Lee gave up requesting her husband's help, because she felt it might create ill temper and result in more marital conflict, which would make her children unhappy.

This pattern parallels previous research on American women that reveals that women's low level of desire for men's participation in family work may reflect their resignation and wish to avoid marital conflict (Berheide 1984; Hochschild 1989; Komter 1989). However, there is a subtle difference between Korean immigrant women and American women in general. American women live in a society in which more than half of the marriages end in divorce, which is a primary factor in the increased impoverishment of women. Fears of divorce and a declining standard of living restrain them from demanding that their husbands help with family work (Hochschild 1989). However, fear of divorce is less salient among Korean immigrant women, who still have a low divorce rate.

Understanding Husbands' Time Shortage and Fatigue

As long as wives regard men's family work as a matter of help rather than a matter of responsibility, they cannot demand that their husbands help unless the men have extra time and energy. Therefore, husbands' absolute or relative time shortages and fatigue, which Korean immigrant wives recognize, affect the extent of their resignation.

44 GENDER & SOCIETY / February 1997

Wives of family business couples, who work more than 13 hours per day at physically demanding jobs, admit that their husbands as well as they themselves have little time to do family work. These wives reveal sympathy for their husbands, saying, "I know how tired he is because I experience the same thing." The wives explicitly state that both their husbands and they themselves need to rest rather than spend their time doing family work. Their statements suggest that for Korean immigrant families, working for family survival is a priority that takes precedence over the matter of division of family work. Consequently, their husbands can limit their participation in family work to the extent that they put the dishes in the sink and put leftovers in the refrigerator after eating alone. The wives reveal that they also lower the quality and quantity of family work that they perform.

The findings suggest that working conditions of family business couples provide both an opportunity and a constraint for these wives' challenge to gender inequality at home. All but two wives of family business couples earn the title of equal breadwinners by working as much as their husbands in labor-intensive family businesses and are in a better position to bargain for new marital power than wives who are secondary breadwinners. However, the tough working conditions limit these wives' attempts to change the unequal division of family work.

The relative time shortage of husbands is more likely to be a reason for professional wives' giving up achieving husbands' help. Whang, who works part-time as a engineering consultant while her husband works as an engineer full-time, thinks it is fair for her to take care of most of the family work without her husband's help because she has relatively more time at home than her husband. Furthermore, she believes that her husband may be excused from family work because he needs to spend his time on his own work for career advancement. Instead of expecting help from her husband, she often gets household help from a maid.

Gatekeeping of Mothers/Mothers-in-Law

Some wives' resignation to the unequal division of family work is due to the presence of mothers or mothers-in-law at home. All of the mothers in this study (four mothers-in-law and two mothers) moved into the houses of respondents to help with child rearing and household tasks. In fact, four out of six families have children under seven years old. These grandmothers take care of most of the everyday child rearing. All but one do the everyday cooking and cleaning except on weekends when their daughters or daughters-in-law do not go to work. Therefore, these mothers are significant helpers. However, they are also gatekeepers who try to maintain the traditional way of doing family work. For these mothers, family work has been a culturally designated female job, obligating women to take care of it. They believe that when a wife is not able to do family work, she should manage it anyway with other women's help. Therefore, the mothers do not complain about their doing family work instead of their daughters or daughters-in-law. But they restrain their daughters or daughters-in-law from asking their husbands to help with family work, as the following comments of Park, who is in her forties, reveal: "My

Lim/KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 45

mother shouts at me and scolds me for making my husband do the family work, saying 'Why do you demand that your husband do family work even though there are two women in this house?' "

These mothers also do not want their sons to do family work at the demand of their daughters-in-law because they perceive that the daughters-in-law control their sons in their own way. According to Hong, who works at a building-cleaning job and flea market with his wife, their parents do not care about his voluntary participation in family work because they know that their son is a good cook and that he enjoys cooking. However, he cannot help being conscious of his parents when he tries to help his wife with family work at the request of his wife. He perceives that his mother does not like her daughter-in-law to be aggressive enough to demand that her son do something. At the same time, his wife recognizes that her mother-in-law expects her to be strong and aggressive enough to deal with employment in the United States. Hong's wife, a woman in her thirties who was a full-time housewife in Korea, recalls feeling pushed into working by her mother-in-law who had worked for more than 10 years in the United States. She feels that she was brainwashed by her mother-in-law, who repeatedly said, "From now on, never dream about living like a princess as you did in Korea. Here, in the U.S., women should be more aggressive and stronger than men."

These mothers also try to keep their sons or sons-in-law from doing family work, arguing that men lose face and self-respect when they are involved in traditionally female work. According to Chung, her mother-in-law interrupts her husband who tries to do dishes on Sunday, saying to him, "Leave it. Both of us [Chung and the mother-in-law] will take care of it. It's not good for men to do family work too much. You worked hard all week. You just take a rest, you look tired." However, the task is often done by Chung because she feels that it is proper for her as a daughter-in-law to take care of family work at least when she does not go to work.

As Chung's case reveals, some wives do recognize their mother-in-law's differential treatment of them and their husbands. Regardless of identical working hours and fatigue of their son and daughter-in-law, in the eyes of their daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law seem to care about only their own sons' fatigue. The mothers-in-law seem to believe that no matter how tired their daughters or daughters-in-law are, the exhaustion does not release them from family work responsibility. While wives feel differential treatment by their mothers-in-law, they do not argue against them. This is especially the case when the wives really appreciate the mothers for reducing their burden of family work and when they know it is disobedient for a daughter-in-law to talk back to parents-in-law.

Will women interviewed in this study be more generous to their future daughters-in-law than their mothers-in-law? When asked how she feels about her son helping her future daughter-in-law with family work, many wives say, "It's OK. No longer should women suffer lives as I did." Some wives emphasize that they ask their sons to do household chores so that the sons can naturally learn family work from an early stage in their lives. However, the ways in which family work is assigned to their children follows the traditional distinction between family work

46 GENDER & SOCIETY /February 1997

for men and family work for women. Sons older than 10 years perform such tasks as vacuuming, laundry, gardening, and taking out garbage by themselves or with their siblings, while doing the dishes or cooking are mainly performed by daughters. And a few wives admit a subtle difference between their feelings about their own sons' family work and that of their future sons-in-law. They may feel thankful to their future sons-in-law for helping their daughters with family work, while they may feel sorry for their sons' having a hard time with family work. These wives ambivalently desire change in men.

Husbands' Reluctance

Despite attitudinal change in men's family work, few husbands practice what they preach. Only one husband I interviewed voluntarily participates in family work, and if a husband participates in a household task, he is more likely to do it at his wife's request. Even when some men accept their wives' requests, they tend to control the time they are involved in family work. "Leave it undone. I will do it later" is a typical response of husbands' to wives' requests. If wives push their husbands, the latter often argues, "Can't you do it, if you think it is really urgent?" The task is often done by wives who feel they cannot leave the task undone until the husbands do it. Husbands also control the task that they may accept at their wives' request. Korean immigrant husbands are most likely to vacuum, take out garbage, and do the gardening because they regard this as male work in that it occurs outside the house or it demands more or less physical strength. In contrast, they strongly resist doing laundry, cooking, and doing the dishes because they believe that these tasks are typical indoor work, related to women.

Facing their husbands' constant reluctance and resistance, some wives finally give up demanding help from their husbands. These wives recall the anger and frustration they felt begging for their husbands' help. Once they define their husbands as men who will never change, they feel further appeals to their husbands are just tiresome and meaningless. Kim, who says that the unequal division of family work has been the sole reason for marital conflict for 14 years of her marriage, declares her final resignation. Since her family can now afford it, she quit her full-time job, cutting back her work hours as a solution to her double burden of family work and job.

Husbands explain their reluctance to share family work in terms of the persistent influence of Korean traditions. They feel that since they are "Korean men" who used to take for granted strict gender division of work and patriarchal privileges of men, it is not easy to change themselves. Even after 16 years in the United States, Lee, who is in his sixties, still mentions his difficulty with being engaged in tasks that are traditionally defined as nonmasculine. His reluctance to change contrasts with his wife' fast change from a full-time housewife to a working wife two days after her arrival.

Being "immigrant men" also serves as an excuse for husbands' reluctance to change. Husbands mention their hardships as immigrants and consequent stresses;

Lim/KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 47

they have often felt depressed, angry, tired, and frustrated with the language barrier, underemployment, or racial discrimination. This is evident when Lee explains why he rejects his wife's requests:

I will say "No" when I am not in the mood. How really tiring physically and psychologically the immigrant life in the U.S. is! I am always full of stress. It will burst into flames if anybody touches it.

The status of immigrant offers Lee elective affinity in viewing the changes in traditional marital roles. Since he perceived wives' employment as a required part of immigrant womanhood, he took his wife's change into a breadwinner for granted. However, the stress, anxiety, and tension that he feels as an immigrant man operate as excuses for his reluctant change into a sharing partner of family work.

No Longer Superwomen

As a coping strategy to combine their jobs and family work, most Korean immigrant wives in this study choose to neglect the quality and/or quantity of family work. This coping strategy is a self-resolution, with no significant changes occurring in their husbands' behaviors. Nonetheless, this is an indication of Korean immigrant women's attempt to change their share of family labor in that women's relinquishment of some family work is a step for them toward bargaining for equal sharing of household work with their husbands (Hood 1983).

For most wives (15 out of 18), what they neglect is not the types of family work they do but the standards they apply to their family work. These wives still take care of most household chores that are related to family sustenance, such as cooking, grocery shopping, and doing the dishes and the laundry. However, laundry is often delayed until clean socks are no longer available, the house is often messy, and just one side dish is prepared for dinner. Other wives neglect not only the standard of family work but also the kinds of family work. For example, Yu, who feels exhausted after 15 hours of hard work in a newly opened laundry, rarely does family work except grocery shopping. The only thing that Kong does is cooking dinner. Yu and Kong's abandoned tasks are taken over by her mother and her grown children (a 14-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son), respectively.

These wives try to give up being a good housewife who always serves her family, regardless of her employment. Without hesitation, Kong, who runs a used appliance store with her husband, says, "I turn off the switch for family work. I now concern myself only with the business." As this quote suggests, Korean immigrant working wives reject the superwoman ideal, which their counterparts in Korea are still socially expected to follow.

A socially acknowledged priority of immigrant families, building a secure economic base as soon as possible, offers these wives a valid excuse for their neglect of family work. The notion that wives' employment is secondary and a matter of choice, which offers a basis for the superwoman ideal, is convincing to only affluent Korean immigrant families. Professional husbands in this study insist that their

48 GENDER & SOCIETY/February 1997

wives' first priority be their children and family work, while they do not oppose their wives having a job. However, husbands of family business couples or low-wage-earner couples admit that more commitment of wives to their jobs than to family work is unavoidable. Therefore, these wives are not afraid of the social stigmas attached to being absent mothers or having a poorly kept house.

With an awareness of their contribution to the family economy, these women also believe that their great effort and consequent hardships for family survival can compensate for their reduced effort in homemaking. Choe reveals that "In Korea, it might have been absurd for me to treat my husband to a humble dish when he came home from work. However, in the U.S., with the excuse that I am busy, it is natural for me to make my family a simple dinner. Under these circumstances I work as much as my husband does, there is no other way to this." Therefore, they do not feel sorry for their husbands, though they regret their limited time in caring for their children.

Their husbands also admit that they cannot complain about wives' reduced family work because they know it is unavoidable. However, there is a contradiction between what husbands think they "should feel" and what they "really feel" about their wives' reduced services and caring (Hochschild 1989). Husbands cannot help feeling deprived of their wives' full-time services in the United States, which they enjoyed in Korea and which their counterparts in Korea may still enjoy. This feeling of relative deprivation is, according to these husbands, the cost that they have to pay for by not being sole breadwinners. This is well illustrated by the following comments of Kang. He has spent most of the daytime for several years alone at home because he and his wife work on different shifts. He grieves about his misfortune:

I just gave up on [my wife's services] rather than understand her. I can't help resigning. This is my life. I wish I lived in Korea because at least a husband is able to provide for his family with only his earnings, whatever job he has.

DISCUSSION

Korean immigrant wives in this study no longer take for granted husbands' dominance at home and relief from family work. Many wives become less obedient to their husbands by expressing their opinions or speaking out against them, consequently resulting in marital conflicts. With an awareness of their contribution to the family economy, wives also believe that they deserve their husbands' help with family work. Most wives also believe that their great efforts toward family survival legitimize their own decreased effort in homemaking. Therefore, they do not practice the superwoman ideal and feel no guilt about this. These findings suggest an ongoing challenge by wives to gender inequality at home.

Resource theory, which explains the relationship between spouses' economic resources and bargaining power in a marriage, is confirmed in this study. However, it is important to recognize that the increase in wives' negotiating power is not a

Lim / KOREAN IMMIGRANT WOMEN'S CHALLENGE 49

result of the increases in that amount of money that wives have or in their control over their earnings. In fact, few Korean immigrant wives in this study accumulate their own individual money to control because some are unpaid workers in family businesses and the majority of family accounting systems are pooled rather than discrete. Instead, psychological resources such as pride and honor, which Korean immigrant wives gain as they are aware of their contribution to the family, are more viable driving forces of wives' challenge.

These positive feelings are related to the immigrant family circumstances under which the hierarchy of paid work and unpaid family work is intensified. Among immigrant families who prioritize working for survival, wives recognize that their contribution to their families as working wives or mothers will never be trivialized by other family members. The socially acknowledged priority of immigrant families offers these wives a valid excuse for their neglect of family work. As immigrant women, who work as hard and as many hours as their husbands at labor-intensive jobs for family survival, many wives earn the title of equal breadwinners and thus gain a foothold to challenge gender inequality at home. While family cooperation is an emphasized ethos among these families that put a priority on family survival, it does not make wives keep silent. In the context of unequal marital relations, many Korean immigrant families are the loci of conflict as well as cooperation.

It is important to recognize a difference between a wife's feeling about her job itself and her feeling about what she does for her family through the job. Those wives who work intensively at a laundry, flea market, or shoe-repair shop may not find satisfaction in their jobs. With physical hardships such as fainting spells, cramps in their legs, bloody noses, or emotional stress, they wish they could have a little recess or work at more comfortable jobs. Nonetheless, through their employment, they recognize themselves as fair contributors to their families and feel proud of themselves. Though these wives did not begin their jobs to secure a base of independence from their husbands, they find a new sense of not being totally dependent on their husbands through employment, consequently perceiving new rights to a voice at home and to demands for help from their husbands. This is a main reason that all but one wife in this study desire to remain in the labor force even if their families no longer needed their earnings, thus confirming Ferree's (1984) assertion that having to work for the family does not preclude wanting to work.

In the process of challenge to gender inequality at home, Korean immigrant wives still draw boundaries that are not to be crossed, although they are stretching those lines. The goal of their ongoing challenge is not to subvert the marital hierarchy itself. The Confucian patriarchal ideology, that women should submit to their husbands' authority and protect male morale as heads of families, restrains women from protesting against marital hierarchy itself. The patriarchal beliefs in women's unconditional endurance in a marriage and sacrifice for the family also overwhelm some wives' perceived right to demand men's change in family work. With an awareness of the social stigma against female dominance and their husbands' insecure self-esteem, wives often apply the "politics of appeal" as a

50 GENDER & SOCIETY /February 1997

strategy to induce their husbands to participate in family work. This is a "patriarchal bargain," in which women maximize their power within patriarchy (Kandiyoti 1988; Kibria 1990).

The findings highlight the interplay of Korean immigrant wives' psychological resources, traditional patriarchal ideas, and immigrant family circumstances in affecting their challenge to gender inequality at home. However, it is important to recognize a difference in the effects of wives' economic resources and immigrant family circumstances on wives' challenges among Korean immigrant families. The effects are most salient among family business couples and nonprofessional wage-earner couples in this study, in which a family priority is still put on family survival and being immigrants operates as an overriding status to legitimate their changes in the traditional marital roles. This is far less so among professional couples.

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Jn-Sook Lim has been a Lecturer of Sociology at the Korea University, Seoul, Korea, since she graduated from the University of Texas at Austin. She currently does research on sexual violence against women in Korea.

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Korean Immigrant Women'S Challenge